The Last Guardian
by allyourdreamstothestars
Summary: As Obi-Wan Kenobi reflects on his past during his exile on Tatooine, a figure from his past arrives to call him to expand his mission of protecting the future of the Jedi Order.
1. Chapter 1

1: Tatooine, 9 BBY, month 5, day 11

Mos Eisley had never been his favorite place, but over the years he'd gotten used to it. And it was the only place within 100 miles where he could get a decent signal. As he pulled up in his speeder, he tugged his hood further forward to cover more of his face. Nerves surfaced inside himself when he approached the checkpoint, but despite his worries he was waved through without a second glance. He parked his speeder outside of the cantina and entered the bar with his cloak still masking his face. He nodded at the bartender, who had clearly been expecting him. It must have been the hundredth time he'd done this, at least; every month for the past ten years he'd come to sequester himself in a back room with his contact. Without another word, he made his way through the throngs of smugglers and fugitives to a small alcove in the back. He shut the door behind him with a wave of his hand, knowing it to be safe now that it was just him and the rebel officer. He pulled off his hood and smiled wearily at his new contact. "Captain Kaeden Larte, I presume?"

"General Kenobi," she said, bowing her head in respect. Obi-Wan sat down at the table that took up the majority of the space in the room, and the young woman did as well.

"I'm no general anymore," he said, smiling a little. "But I appreciate the sentiment."

"Of course, sir," she said. "Senator Organa sends his regards. He has been called away from Coruscant on Senate business but wanted to ensure that your intelligence remained up to date, so he reached out to our cell instead." The young woman broke a smile then and said, "It's an honor to meet you. Truly. I had no idea you had survived the purge."

"That's the idea," Obi-Wan said. "So what has been happening?" Truthfully, as patient and at peace as he liked to think of himself, he lived for these meetings. The ability to truly talk to someone who knows who he is was a rare opportunity for him now, and he never took it for granted.

"Well, truthfully not much. Several rebel cells have been assisting in the Ryloth insurgency. Senator Organa has been providing humanitarian aid, but that's all he's been able to convince the Senate to take action on. The few ships we've had have been helpful in damaging the Imperial blockade, but it's been difficult," the captain said. "The blockade isn't as solid as it used to be. We think the Empire might be starting to understand that holding Ryloth might not be worth it. But it hasn't been easy—certain cells are refusing to help. One, for example, is led by Syndulla's daughter, and she won't go back to her home world. It's frustrating, she's a remarkable pilot."

"She's the leader of one of the Fulcrum cells?" Obi-Wan asked, frowning.

"Yes," Captain Larte said. "I know, they're usually ready for anything, but she's very adamant. Anyway, Gerrera's Partisans are refusing to help, too, they're focused on liberating Onderon."

"Again?" Kenobi asked.

"It fell to the Empire again last year," she said. "Gerrera's been completely unreasonable ever since."

Obi-Wan said, "That doesn't surprise me. I was there for that conflict. He lost his sister defending that world, it's only natural he should want to make sure she didn't die in vain."

Captain Larte nodded. "Right. My… well, I'm not sure what we are, my friend, I guess… she used to be a Jedi. She's talked about you. She said she fought there too."

Obi-Wan's breath caught. "Ahsoka? Ahsoka Tano? She's alive?"

The rebel nodded. "Yes. I… I know I'm not meant to tell anyone I've met with you, but if I could just tell her you're alive…"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Obi-Wan said quietly. He regretted it instantly but knew in his core that it was the right decision. "She can't know. No one can. For the sake of my mission here."

"Right," Kaeden said, though she looked disappointed. "I'm sorry about that. I don't think it would cause a problem, though, she would never bring attention to you."

"I know Ahsoka," Obi-Wan said, shaking his head. "She would want to see me, and it would be too dangerous." Not to mention she could probably recognize the boy by sensing his father in him, he thought to himself.

"I know her, too," Kaeden said, sounding almost defensive. "She's been so lonely all these years. I… guess I understand the secrecy. But she feels very alone."

"She has you, though, I gather?" Obi-Wan asked gently. Kaeden shook her head vehemently and laughed.

"No. Not really. She's still a Jedi, no matter what she says, she could never let herself be happy," she said, sounding bitter. She seemed to remember who she was speaking to and stiffened. "I meant no offense, General."

"It's all right," he said. "If that's true, she's a better Jedi than some. Even if she left the Order." A better Jedi than me, he thought to himself, and stood. "And how is Senator Organa's family?" It was a thinly veiled question, obvious to anyone who knew the truth about what he meant masked as a pleasantry, though Kaeden didn't seem to understand.

"He told me to tell you that his wife is well and his daughter is dedicated to her people," she said. Obi-Wan tried not to show his concern. He and the senator had been speaking in subtext for years now; 'Alderaanian' had become a code for confirmation that Leia was showing no signs of connections to her origins.

"You're certain he didn't say she was Alderaanian?" he asked. Kaeden blinked.

"Uh, no, but of course she is."

"Right," he said, frowning slightly. "Well, thank you very much for the information, Captain Larte. Will you be my contact next month?"

"I think so," she said. "But the senator will try to send a message if it won't be me."

"Well, then, thank you for coming all the way out here to meet with me," he said, bowing his head and donning his hood once again.

"No problem," she said. "I like to fly."

"So did I," he said. "When I was a younger man." He stepped out of the cell and left the cantina without making eye contact with anyone else. Walking to his speeder, he stopped when he heard a familiar young voice shrieking in delight behind him. He turned to see a group of young children running about the square, chasing each other with sticks and toy blasters and making a great deal of noise. One of the boys was standing over another who had fallen to the ground, a gleam in his eye that Obi-Wan knew well—every time he saw Luke he reminded him more of the apprentice he had known. He swung the stick he was holding faster than the other boy could defend himself and knocked the toy blaster out of his hand. Obi-Wan shook his head. Those reflexes the boy had… they were going to waste.

"I got you, Biggs!"

"Luke! I'm not Biggs, I'm a Separatist!"

"Oh! Right! Yeah, well, um, in the name of the Jedi, you're under arrest!"

The boy on the ground, Biggs, kicked Luke's leg and aimed the blaster at his head. "You're dead, Jedi!"

"Oh, no! I'm dying!" Luke gasped, and fell to the ground making dramatic sounds. Obi-Wan looked down at the ground, trying not to be disturbed. He straightened and looked up sharply when he saw a nearby smuggler walk up to the group.

"Think that's funny, do you?" the man asked, a large hulking figure who was obviously carrying a real blaster. Biggs, Luke, and the others stood up quickly and looked away.

"We were just playing," Luke mumbled, and the man stepped forward menacingly.

"Listen, boy. You better watch yourself," he growled, and Obi-Wan knew he had to do something.

"Leave these young ones alone," he said loudly, and all of the involved parties's heads turned quickly to look at him. The man swaggered up to him, reaching for his blaster casually.

"I'm teaching them a lesson," he said. "My friends died in those wars."

"So did mine," he said. "But that isn't their fault."

"You'd better stay out of this, or I'll have to make you."

Obi-Wan sighed and raised his hand, trying not to be too obvious. "You have something very important to do back on your ship."The man's eyes clouded over and his hand dropped from his waist. "I… have something very important to do back on my ship," he mumbled, and turned to hurry out of the square. Luke ran up to him, while the other kids hung back.

"Come on, guys," he said.

"I don't know, Luke," one said, a young girl holding a large toy version of a clone blaster. "That's Old Ben, isn't it? My parents said he's crazy."

"He's not crazy, Camie," Luke said adamantly. "I talk to him all the time, he's cool." Biggs stepped forward then, though Camie and the other boy backed away as Luke got closer. "Hi, Ben. What did he say?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm not sure. Sometimes people don't make very much sense," he said. "How are you, Luke?"

"I'm okay," he said. "Why was he so mad?"

"Some people are very sensitive about the Clone Wars, I trust you all understand that."

"We'll be more careful," Biggs mumbled.

"Yeah, sorry, Ben," Luke said.

"That's all right," Obi-Wan said. "Where's your uncle?"

"He's inside…" Luke said, trailing off as his eyes widened, staring at a point beyond Obi-Wan. "Uh-oh." The old Jedi master turned to see Owen Lars hurrying out of a store across the street. Oh, no. "You might want to go. He doesn't like you."

"Yes, I know," Obi-Wan said quietly, and tried to smile politely at the man that had almost reached him now. The aging farmer looked livid.

"What are you doing here?" Lars asked him roughly, moving to stand between him and the two boys.

"Luke just got into a small disagreement with—" Obi-Wan tried to say, but Lars was already leading him away from the group.

"Don't think I don't know exactly what you're doing. Beru told me what you came to tell her, you've got to be crazy."

"I only said he was Force-sensitive," Obi-Wan said, hearing himself sounding more and more defensive. "His abilities are already off the charts, just from what I can sense."

"But I know what that means, that's what you told Shmi back then. You want to train him, don't you?" Lars asked.

"…I think that not training him would frankly be a waste of talent," Kenobi argued.

"My stepbrother had tons of potential too. Look where that got him. I won't let you teach him that nonsense."

Kenobi nodded. "I understand," he muttered.

"I don't think you do. I think you should go," Lars said. "I don't want you talking to him anymore."

Kenobi felt anger boiling up inside of him and fought to control it, calling on the Force to quietly ease his anger. "Lars, it's my duty to watch over him. This boy is the only hope for the future of the Jedi Order."

"The Jedi Order can go to hell where it belongs," Lars spat. He turned back to the boys and called out, "Let's go, Luke."

The young boy looked at both of them, seeming conflicted, before saying, "All right. Bye, Biggs."

"See you, Luke," the boy said quietly, and the young Skywalker looked past his uncle at Obi-Wan sadly.

"Bye, Ben," he said, and Lars led him away quickly, glaring at Obi-Wan one last time as he left.

Obi-Wan watched them leave and shook his head sadly. He looked back at the three remaining children to find Biggs staring at him curiously. "Yes?"

"You told that guy that your friends died in the war," he said. "Did you fight in the Clone Wars?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan said, figuring there was no harm in that. Nearly everyone had.

"For who?"

"Not for the Separatists," he said quietly. Biggs grinned.

"Oh, good. I don't like them, you know, Luke just always wants to be the Jedi. I wanna go to the Academy, but only so I can learn to fly and join the Rebellion," he confessed. Obi-Wan smiled but noticed the stormtrooper checkpoint nearby and lowered his voice.

"Well, good. We're always looking for recruits," he said, and walked away smiling to himself at the boy's awed expression. He was controlling his anger as best he could, but by the time he was back on his speeder heading for his home he was furious. Flying usually helped, but the stinging in his eyes as he sped across the sand only served to remind him of the sacrifices he was making for this boy. It wasn't Luke he was mad at, of course, it was Lars. If he thought he could turn his nephew into a farmer, he was crazy. Luke had far too much of Anakin in him—it was only a matter of time. Time Obi-Wan might not have to stay and train him, when he is ready. From what he could tell, the Rebellion wasn't growing like Organa would like. And the message about Leia had troubled him.

When he entered his cell, he took off his cloak and couldn't resist dropping it on the ground in frustration. He crossed the room to his cabinets and pulled out a small packet of dried portion bread. As he boiled it on the hot plate absentmindedly, his head pounding, he knew that afterwards he had to center himself. When he was done eating, he sat down on the mat in the center of the room and closed his eyes. When his breathing became even and his mind cleared, Qui-Gon finally came to him.

"Hello, Master," Obi-Wan said.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said. He sounded displeased. "What you said to the boy, that was reckless."

"I know," he said. "I wasn't thinking clearly."

"You are upset."

"Yes, I'm upset," Obi-Wan said quietly, trying to keep his anger in check or he would lose his connection with his old master. "Lars won't let me train the boy."

"You knew this might happen," he reminded him.

"Yes, I know," Obi-wan said, and sighed. "I just don't see why. He has no perspective. This boy could be the only hope for the Order."

"What about the girl?"

"She hasn't shown any signs of Force sensitivity," Obi-Wan said. "And anyway Organa and I agreed to train Luke if possible, not Leia…"

"But are you so sure? You're troubled about the girl, I can sense it." It was true; he couldn't shake the message he'd gotten. It could have just been the confusion with Kaeden coming instead of his usual contact. But what if it wasn't?

Obi-Wan shook it off and said, "It doesn't matter. What matters is Lars is refusing to see what Luke could become."

"They're scared, Obi-wan. They've never had a positive experience with the Jedi."

"They never will if they continue to be so obstinate," Obi-wan muttered. "He could be as powerful as Anakin, Qui-gon, I'm sure of it."

"I know. But the world has changed greatly, Obi-wan. Does it even need the Jedi anymore? It may have been the state of the Order's internal affairs that allowed Palpatine to become so powerful."

"Absolutely not. I refuse to believe that the Jedi are to blame for the destruction of the Republic," Obi-wan said.

Qui-gon smiled. "You're just as stubborn as when I first met you. Do you remember?"

Kenobi felt his face grow hot with embarrassment at the memory. "I remember, Master."

"You had so much anger. You learned to control it well, Kenobi, but it's still inside you. You will never become one with the Force after this life unless you let go of it completely. Are you ready to continue the training?"

Kenobi closed his eyes. "Yes, Master."

"Remember to let go, Obi-wan. Begin."


	2. Chapter 2

2: Coruscant, 42 BBY, month 7, day 22

"Is that the best you can do, Gonk?" the boy he was fighting jeered. Obi-Wan peered up at him, newly outraged at the mention of the old nickname, his pride still stinging from his fall seconds before. He knew the knights were watching. He stood up while his opponent hung back patiently, something Bruck hardly ever did, but they were all on their best behavior today. Obi-Wan picked his lightsaber back up and sparred for a few moments before Bruck knocked his knees out from under him with a Force push; not technically illegal but a dirty move. He couldn't resist laughing as Obi-Wan knelt on the ground, regaining his breath. "Need a break, Kenobi?"

Obi-Wan looked up and saw several knights hovering at the edges of the gym, looking at him in concern. His anger boiled up inside him and he stared at his lightsaber, a good few feet away on the ground. "You wish," he muttered, and, with much more ease than he had ever remembered, summoned his lightsaber and jumped to his feet. Bruck seemed surprised and parried Obi-Wan's attacks as best he could, but Obi-Wan felt the Force surging through him, more powerful than before. It wasn't long before he sensed Bruck was off-balance, and knocked his lightsaber out of his grasp. The other boy rocked backwards and fell to the ground, with Obi-Wan pointing his blade at him, satisfied.

"Enough," the instructor called, hurrying over to them. "That's fine, thank you," he said, causing Obi-Wan to back away while eyeing him suspiciously. Obi-Wan was breathing heavily, still imbued with excess energy, and turned off his lightsaber as he saw the knights approaching with Master Yoda.

"Your name, young one?" a tall Cerean woman asked him.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi," he said, bowing his head in deference, though he could hardly hear himself over the pounding in his ears.

"Your skills are evident, Obi-Wan," she said. "Perhaps a little unbalanced."

He felt his face growing hot as Yoda said, "Much potential Obi-Wan has. In need of a good teacher he is."

"I'd like to speak with him, Master Yoda," someone said, a human man in the back. Yoda nodded, smiling, and Obi-Wan followed the man out of the gym reluctantly. He was rather tall, with long brown hair and a matching beard that made him look wise beyond his years. They walked down the hallway as the man said, "Your sparring abilities are impressive."

"Thank you, sir," he said, trying not to sound nervous.

"My name is Qui-Gon Jinn," he said, and Obi-Wan's eyes widened.

"You're—Qui-Gon Jinn? Really?" he asked, and Qui-Gon smiled.

"I see my reputation has made it to the youngling clans."

"Well… sometimes I read the archives in my free time," he said sheepishly. "I know you liberated Jakku from a fascist cell ten years ago."

"You seem to know quite a lot about me. I don't know much at all about you, though," he said. "You're in Master Yoda's clan, correct?"

"Yes, sir," he said, smiling nervously. "You were, too."

"Yes," Qui-Gon said. "Where are you from?"

"Doesn't matter," Obi-Wan said quietly.

"It does to me," he said. "And it should to you."

Surprised, Obi-Wan said, "Stewjon."

"Ah, right," Qui-Gon said. "That isn't too far from my home world. And how old are you?"

"Fifteen standard," he said, starting to let himself relax. "Well I just turned fifteen."

"And how long have you had a lightsaber?"

Obi-Wan stood up a little straighter and said proudly, "Two years now. I was one of the first in my clan to go to the Gathering."

"Quite a bit longer than that boy you were fighting, I trust?"

"Well… about six months more," he admitted. He could tell Qui-Gon didn't approve of this advantage and started to feel a growing sense of dread. He was never going to be chosen.

"Did I hear him call you…?"

"Gonk," Obi-Wan muttered. "Some of the other younglings used to call me that. Because I was slow, apparently."

"And how did you respond?" Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan allowed himself a small smile when he said, "I got quicker."

"So if he said that… am I right in thinking you used your anger back there?" Obi-Wan dropped his eyes from the knight, who stopped and put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "It's all right, look at me." Obi-Wan looked up again, reluctantly, and he said, "Everyone does from time to time. It's nearly impossible to resist. And there is a great power in it. It can keep you alive, sometimes, and in the right situation it may not always be entirely wrong. But you must never do it if you can help it."

"I know, sir," Obi-Wan said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me. If you want to apologize to someone, you should apologize to that boy. But it can wait." Qui-Gon started to walk again and Obi-Wan followed him, trying to match his gait and hanging on to his every word. No one had ever really spoken to him like this, so personally. "You truly do have great potential. But remember what I've said about using your anger. There is power in it, but there is great power in restraint as well. You'll learn that in your Padawan training."

"If I'm ever chosen," Obi-Wan said carefully, trying to read the knight's motivations. Qui-Gon smiled.

"If you agree, I'd like to speak to the Council tonight about training you myself."

Obi-Wan grinned. "Really? You'll teach me?"

"That depends on if you're willing to learn."

He nodded eagerly. "Yes, sir."

"Yes, Master," Qui-Gon corrected.

"Yes, Master." The knight smiled.

"I hope to see you soon, then, Obi-Wan," he said. "Now apologize to that boy and try to get some rest. I have a mission coming up this week." Obi-Wan could hardly contain his excitement as Qui-Gon disappeared down the hallway.

—

9 BBY, month 5, day 11

"I can't let go, Master," Obi-Wan said finally, bringing himself out of the memory and back to his surroundings. "Not of everything. I don't want to let go of those memories."

"You cannot hold on to them," Qui-Gon said. "You don't need to. They are a part of who you are in that they have made you who you are. But clinging to them will ground you in the past. The Whills know that immortality means connection with the Force, and the Force is in every time and every place."

"Why can I not think of the past if I also think of the future?"

"But you do not," Qui-Gon told him. "Something is holding you back."

"My mission," Obi-Wan said, trying not to become frustrated, "is to watch over the boy."

"So the boy is holding you back?" The question was gentle, but it reminded him of days long past when he would be led to the true answer and it made him embarrassed not to have gotten to it himself.

"I'm too old to be treated like a Padawan," Obi-Wan snapped, and immediately regretted it.

"I was older than you are now when I trained you," Qui-Gon said, "and I learned from you just as you learned from me."

"I apologize, Master."

"Well, then, is it the boy holding you back?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No. I don't blame him at all."

"But you blame someone?"

"Maybe," he admitted. "Anakin."

"But if you blame your apprentice, aren't you really blaming yourself?"

Obi-Wan felt his anger growing again. "It wasn't my fault, the Jedi, all of us were blind to Palpatine's plans."

"But you believe it was you who failed him."

"You started all of this! You took him from this blasted wasteland and gave him the power to destroy it all!" Obi-Wan argued, raising his voice now, not caring how angry he was.

"I gave him you to guide him away from destruction," Qui-Gon said, sounding infuriatingly calm.

"I was too young! Too young for such a burden and you knew it! You left me alone," he shouted, feeling the beginnings of tears stinging in his eyes. He felt himself return from the meditation completely, the Force pulling away from his grasp and his old master with it. He was alone now.

He stood up, dizzy from the harsh return to the physical world, and smoothed his tunic, breathing heavily. If he were anywhere else, he would have tried to stop his tears by splashing water in his face, but water was scarce here. He hated this blasted planet.

Was Qui-Gon right? The question nagged at him as he laid on his cot, trying to let sleep come. It was futile, he realized after a while, and stood up, restless. He tried to pace around the room, hoping the movement would calm him, but it wasn't working. The anger was still surging through him, and he knew that he could probably move a freighter with ease by just thinking about it right now. Back in his previous life, back at the Temple, usually taking walks and meditating was enough to balance his emotions, but right now everything he felt and saw was so obviously of Tatooine that it was impossible to think of anything but his exile, or his apprentice. Did he really blame him? Feeling the anger in him now, he knew that it could be so tempting to let it control him. If Anakin, someone with power inside him that was likely far beyond what Obi-Wan could experience, felt that power on such a great scale, could he have ever resisted giving in?

You were supposed to teach him how, Obi-Wan told himself, and he stopped pacing, his breathing still uneven. But you never understood him.

Is that what was holding him back? That he couldn't make his peace with his apprentice? If it was true, perhaps he needed to let himself remember. The thought sent a chill down Obi-Wan's spine; he had blocked out those memories from his mind as best he could. The more he thought about it, the more he realized it was the only thing that was going to give him any kind of sense of peace. One thing was certain, however; he couldn't stay here, he was going to climb the walls. So he took his cloak, and ventured out into the deserts on foot, hoping to find the Anakin he had known somewhere in the sands of his home world.


	3. Chapter 3

3: Naboo, 32 BBY, month 5, day 2

Qui-Gon's body had hardly stopped burning when Obi-Wan left the room. He made his way swiftly down the hall, trying to make it to his quarters without being stopped by anyone. He couldn't bear to discuss the duel any further with the Council, those old masters with their slow deliberations and looks of disapproval. His master was dead, and he wanted to mourn in peace.

"Obi-Wan?" He paused when he heard the small boy's voice and tried not to sigh audibly as the stress of the past day crept back into his mind. His apprentice. He'd almost forgotten. He turned around to look at the young boy, standing unsure just outside the door from the ceremony room. Anakin was small for his age and uneducated, but even so Obi-Wan felt the Force surrounding the boy with more intensity than he'd ever seen.

"Anakin," he said, trying to sound cheerful or at least ambivalent. "Er, come with me."

"Are we going back to Coruscant?" Anakin asked as they walked down the hallway.

"Not yet. We've been invited to stay for the festivities," Obi-Wan said, his distaste for the idea evident in his voice. Anakin laughed a little. "We'll be back in the Temple by tomorrow night, though." They reached the guest chambers of the palace before long and the guard let them pass without much of a second glance. After the attention Obi-Wan had received in the last day or so, he welcomed the indifference. They reached the small room off of Obi-Wan's quarters that had been reserved for Anakin and he opened the door for the boy, who looked in with wide eyes at the robes laid out on the floor in front of the bed roll.

"Are these mine?" he asked, grinning, and Obi-Wan allowed himself to smile.

"They're yours," he said, nodding. As the boy ran into the refresher to change his clothes, Obi-Wan went into his own quarters next door and took his razor from his bag, hoping Anakin wasn't vain about his hair. "You're going to have to keep your hair cropped short," he called. "Apart from your Padawan braid." He walked back around into the cell to find Anakin in the standard robes, his excited expression only having grown.

"I get to look like you?" he asked, and Obi-Wan was oddly touched.

"Well, I have to cut my braid. It's a symbol of your apprenticeship. And I'm no longer an apprentice."

"Oh. Okay." Anakin studied Obi-Wan closely for a moment before taking a lock of hair behind his ear and starting to braid it swiftly, surprising Obi-Wan.

"I'm impressed you know how to do it."

"I used to help my mom," he said, and as he said it his smile faded. Obi-Wan felt a pang of sympathy for the boy—most Jedi didn't have to deal with this so directly.

"I know it's painful right now, but you're going to have to learn to let her go," he said gently, and Anakin nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I know," he said, staring at the floor. Suddenly, almost violently, he perked up and said, "Do I get to cut my hair now?"

"Can you manage it?" Obi-Wan asked as he handed over the razor. Anakin looked at him, as if the question was stupid.

"Yeah. I used to cut sheets of metal by myself, I'll be fine."

Regardless, Obi-Wan felt wary of leaving a nine-year-old alone with a razor and said, "Well, I'm going to stay anyway." Anakin shrugged and stood up to go into the refresher and stand in front of the mirror. Obi-Wan lingered outside, watching him as locks fell away onto the ground. It must be rather cathartic for him, he thought as the boy happily clipped away.

"You should start to try to meditate before bed," he told him. "It helps to center yourself in the Force. It's usually very calming for me."

"Okay," he said. "I can try."

"It might be hard at first. I know it was for me. But it gets much easier," Obi-Wan told him. "As you get older."

"Okay." He sounded a little less animated than before, and Obi-Wan looked at him in concern.

"Are you all right?"

"Do you miss him?" His voice sounded very small. "I miss him, but I feel like I shouldn't. I didn't know him."

"You're allowed to miss him," Obi-Wan said, his grief threatening to return. "And yes, I miss him. Very much."

"I'm supposed to let that go, too, right?" It almost sounded bitter, and Obi-Wan thought he was far too young to already feel this way about these ideas. He could already tell this wasn't going to be easy.

"Eventually. But it takes time," Obi-Wan said. "It's a lesson as well. That the Masters are right, attachments do lead to suffering. That doesn't mean that we should never make any."

"I guess." He turned around, twisting his small arms to try to cut the back of his head. "When do I get a lightsaber?"

Obi-Wan laughed. "In a few years. When you're ready. First you have to train in the Force."

"But I'm already good at that, Qui-Gon said I was. I want a lightsaber so I can help people."

"You can help people, Anakin, without needing a weapon," Obi-Wan said. "We helped you without weapons."

"I helped me," he said quietly. "And you fought that guy with lightsabers."

"He would have killed me if I didn't have the Force," Obi-Wan said quietly. "He was going to. If I hadn't been able to center myself and use the energy that surrounds us I wouldn't be here now. You must learn to control that and connect with that first."

"Okay," Anakin said, though he sounded a little put out. "There. I'm done." He wasn't, though; the back of his head was ragged and uneven. Obi-Wan stood up, took the razor, and evened it out as he stood impatiently.

"There," he said a few moments later. "Good. You're a true Padawan now." Anakin grinned. "Now get some rest, we need to be at the parade early tomorrow morning."

"Right," Anakin said. "Good night, Obi-Wan."

"Master," Obi-Wan corrected him, and he shrugged, smiling. "Good night." He left the quarters for his own feeling uneasy. He had to teach this boy everything, and he had no idea how. Qui-Gon's actions when he was training him still seemed like a mystery to Obi-Wan, and he had even been trained for years beforehand by his clan and Master Yoda. And if this boy was the Chosen One as Qui-Gon thought, the fate of the galaxy was on his shoulders. On both of theirs.

He walked into his own chambers and stood in the refresher, staring in the mirror, trying to find the wisdom of his master within himself. "Help me," he finally said, to no one in particular. Or perhaps to Qui-Gon. He didn't know if he believed he could hear him, but it didn't really matter on Obi-Wan's end anyway. "I have no idea what I'm doing, Master."

He reached into the Force, looking for some kind of guidance, and found emptiness. He knew it was his grief, it was clouding his senses, but it still felt like the universe was abandoning him. He noticed his braid in the mirror and realized he needed to cut it. He had always imagined this would be a happy moment for him, in the moments after his passing of the Trials. But his Trials had been foregone, because what could be more trying than watching your master die and duelling a Sith Lord? Here he was, in the wake of his Master's death and with a troubled apprentice depending on him. And as he raised his hand, he stopped as doubts flooded him. He didn't feel ready; that was the one thing he was certain of. And once he cut, there was no turning back. He had just almost forsaken his vows, on top of everything else. His face burned at the memory as he thought of her. He thought he'd have more time to forget. To let go of her. But she was still fresh in his mind, and everything she represented. He had been ready to walk away. Almost. But he knew, in the end, he would always choose the Order. That was enough to cement his decision—and anyway, what choice did he have? He cut it with one swift motion, with an angry jerk of his arm, and threw it in the waste bin. He was never one for sentimentality.

Still, he thought of Anakin. He could sense him in the next room; his energy was still excited and there was no way he was sleeping. He had so much hope, so much ambition. He knew Yoda thought it was a bad thing but he could see the good in it—and maybe that was what he needed. But he also knew that someone with that much power needed to learn to control himself, and he felt racked with doubt yet again. "He deserves better, Master," he mumbled. "A better Jedi than me."

No one responded, of course, so Obi-Wan laid on the bed roll he'd chosen over the king-sized bed Amidala's staff had offered him. He tried to sleep, but it would not come, so he fell into meditation instead. Eventually, as he thought less and less about Qui-Gon, the Force began to come back to him and eventually calmed him enough to sleep.

—

Ilum, 29 BBY

When they entered the planet's orbit, Anakin practically jumped out of his seat and leaned over Obi-Wan's shoulder to look at the nav computer. "Where are we?"

"Ilum. A sacred planet of the Jedi. You'll find the crystal you need for your lightsaber here." He was already grinning and Obi-Wan shook his head, smiling. He remembered being excited for his Gathering; nervous, too, of course, but it was his first real rite of passage to becoming a Jedi Knight. Anakin was already a Padawan, so it wasn't his, but Obi-Wan knew he'd been feeling isolated, the youngest of them and without a real lightsaber to show for it.

The boy looked at the controls and looked at Obi-Wan. "The controls don't seem difficult," he said carefully, hope in his eyes. "If I could just…"

Obi-Wan sighed. "I'll take us into the atmosphere and you can land it. You have to use the computer!" he warned, but Anakin was already celebrating, practically jumping up and down, and he just sighed. "You're going to have to center yourself when we reach the ground."

"I will," his apprentice said eagerly. "I promise." Obi-Wan smiled as they passed the edge of the planet's atmosphere, revealing the icy landscape below. He stood up and Anakin hopped into the seat, and with a swift and surprisingly steady motion, brought them into landing position. Without warning, the boy jerked the steering wheel to one side and Obi-Wan was flung into the other seat in the cockpit as the ship began spiraling through the air. "Woohoo!"

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan shouted, a warning, and he steadied the ship, bringing the nose down to lower their altitude.

"Sorry, Master," he said, but he didn't sound sorry at all. "Where are we landing?"

"Over there, by that cave structure," he said, pointing at a point far off in their window, and Anakin sped up as they raced across the arctic surface, a little too low for Obi-Wan's comfort. "Use the computer," he added, and Anakin punched the buttons to start the landing sequence. Obi-Wan thought he saw him roll his eyes, but decided to let it go. They landed smoothly about thirty feet from the entrance, and Anakin stood up and smiled.

"That was fun!" he exclaimed. "And I could've done it without the computer, you know."

"Probably," Obi-Wan admitted. "But your safety is more important. _My_ safety is more important," he added, feeling the likely forming bruise on his arm from the spiral.

"You know I wouldn't let anything happen to you, Master," the boy said, grinning, and exited the ship, running onto the snowy surface. Obi-Wan shook his head in exasperation and followed him outside. His apprentice was shivering, and looking around in wonder at the snow. "Gods," he breathed. "This is… real snow!"

"You've never seen snow?" Obi-Wan asked, amused, but then immediately felt sorry because of course he hadn't. Anakin just shook his head distractedly, and he put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "You must go inside now."

"I just have to find my crystal?" he asked. "How will I know it's mine?"

"You'll know," he said. "You may see things inside. Visions, or apparitions. That's natural. It's part of your journey. You must continue no matter what."

"Does this mean I can go on missions with you now?" he asked.

Obi-Wan sighed. "I'm not sure about that Anakin. You'll still very young."

"I'm almost 13! And everyone else goes everywhere with their Master. I understood before, but I'm ready now! Doesn't making my lightsaber prove that?"

He looked at him, and after hesitation, said, "I'll think about it. Now center yourself."

Anakin nodded, serious for the first time all day, and closed his eyes. Moments later, he opened them, looking determined. "Right. How do we get in?"

"We must open the door together. Now focus and follow my lead." They approached the icy cave, and Obi-Wan held out his hand to the sleek surface in front of them. Anakin did the same, and eventually the Force responded to both of them, lifting the slab with a slow scraping noise. When it settled with a noise of dull finality, Obi-Wan turned to his apprentice, but found him already running inside. "Anakin! You must return before nightfall or the door will close."

He turned around and smiled. "I'll be back within the hour," he scoffed, and disappeared down into the caves. Obi-Wan returned to the ship, settling onto the ramp leading outside and watched the entrance with apprehension. What if he'd been wrong? What if he wasn't ready? He closed his eyes, focusing on Anakin's energy. He could feel it, reaching him from within the caves. He felt excited but stable for now, but as Obi-Wan meditated and time marched on, he started to feel anxiety, and at one point a stab of fear that almost made him stand instinctively, wanting to protect him. But he knew he could not interfere, and just as well he did return soon, though it had been a few hours. He looked shaken, but was holding a small, bright crystal in his hand.

"I got it," he said, trying to smile, but Obi-Wan already knew something was wrong.

"Congratulations," he said. "What did you see?"

"I saw…" Anakin looked away and said, "I saw lots of things. Felt things… the Force. And I felt… so much suffering. I don't know where it came from. It felt like… like it was part of me. About me." He looked at him in alarm. "Do you think I could be wrong?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan said quickly. "Visions are often misleading. I wouldn't worry about it." Obi-Wan knew he would do that enough for the both of them. "Anything else?"

He seemed to straighten as he looked at him and said, very matter-of-factly, "Yeah. Qui-Gon was right, Master. I am the Chosen One." And without another word, he walked past him and into the ship.

—

Tatooine, 9 BBY, month 5, day 11

Obi-Wan was jolted out of his reverie by the sound of engines settling in the sand. He stood up, dazed, still halfway on the arctic world from all those years ago, and looked across the vast expanse of the desert. He'd gotten fairly far from his home, but he could still see it, and felt a shock go through him as he realized the ship was parked outside of his house. Hurrying now, one hand on his lightsaber, he ran home, his mind racing. It could be a rebel cell, in which case he would be angry they would risk exposing his location; or maybe it was Vader, coming for him at last. Or any number of enemies, now that he thought about it; there were few in power now that didn't want him dead or captured. He reached the ship and saw that it was a Corellian model, though much more elegant than he thought most rebels could afford. He also saw his door hanging open. Drawing his lightsaber now, he entered quickly, raising it, and suddenly froze. It was her. He opened his mouth to speak, but he could only manage to breathe, "Vera."

She stood from her seat by his table and smiled. "Obi-Wan. It's been a long time."


	4. Chapter 4

4: Tatooine, 9 BBY, month 5, day 11

"What are you doing here?" he asked, instinctively touching the counter behind him for support. She hardly looked older, wearing the same elegant robes she used to in the Senate all those years ago, but Obi-Wan was suddenly very aware of his own aging brought on by the stress and the harsh environment.

"I came to see you," she said, smiling easily, and he was tempted to smile back but knew this wasn't true. If she was here, there was a reason; otherwise, she would have come before now.

"No you didn't," he said, trying to imply he was all right with this, but her smile faded nonetheless. He was disappointed that he'd caused that.

"No," she admitted. "I'm here on behalf of a mutual friend."

His brow furrowed in suspicion. "Most of our mutual friends are dead." As he said it, it stung anew, as if it had happened yesterday. She was transporting him back into the past faster than his meditations even could. She looked startled by his statement, and he could see memories haunting her too. He stopped resisting looking directly into her eyes and felt the same hopeless feeling as he had when they were younger. Her dark brown eyes seemed to look right through him, and he saw great sadness there he wished he could wipe away.

"Breha sent me," she finally said, and Obi-Wan's mind returned to the present with a jolt. Of course, he wasn't sure why he hadn't thought of it; after all, he'd just been worried about Organa's message. This must have something to do with Leia. "She needs your help."

"Is this about Leia?" he asked carefully, unsure of how much she knew. Vera nodded.

"Yes. She wouldn't say what exactly, but I have my suspicions," she said. "I didn't press the issue. She didn't seem eager to tell me."

"But you came anyway," he said, again careful. Why had she come? Didn't she remember their last meeting the same way?

"Yes," she said, her expression softening. "I wanted to see you. That part was true."

Obi-Wan forced himself not to smile and sighed. "Vera…" And hearing her name, it affected him too; like a shock to his system after so long refusing to think of her.

"I know, I know. But still," she said, and smiled again, looking much less free-spirited than before. She looked around at his house and added, "I'd been wondering what you were doing ever since I found out you'd survived." She turned her eyes back to him and said, "It seems lonely."

"It is," he admitted, and found himself suddenly wondering if she was lonely. He suppressed the thought and said, "But I have responsibilities here."

"Breha told me," she said. "She also told me you'd likely be difficult to convince to leave."

"Leave?" Obi-Wan asked, startled. As he said it, he thought it was hardly surprising that helping would entail leaving Tatooine, but he truly hadn't even thought of it. He hadn't left in so long.

"She wants you to come to Alderaan," Vera told him.

"I can't go to Alderaan," Obi-Wan said, "I have—"

"Responsibilities, yes," Vera said. "She thought you'd say that. She asked me to remind you that you have responsibilities there as well, that your promise includes them too."

Obi-Wan sighed, starting to become irritated. "I expect sending you is supposed to sway me as well. She couldn't have simply sent a palace steward?" He realized how it sounded and added quickly, "Not that I'm saying I'm not happy to see you…"

Vera waved him off. "I know… but to answer your question, well, yes, probably. But have you ever known Breha to do something halfway?"

He had to acknowledge that, but it didn't change his circumstances. "I have someone here I must protect."

"She's sent one of Bail's military officers with me to keep your watch in your absence, a Captain Antilles," she said. "He's waiting on the ship."

This was getting harder to refuse, and still Obi-Wan tried to reason with her. "What am I supposed to do, present myself in court? I'm in exile out of necessity. I can't go to a heavily populated Core World."

"Not as yourself," she said. "You'll have an alias and you won't be there long."

Obi-Wan still hesitated. He didn't appreciate being kept in the dark. "What's going on, Vera? Why didn't Bail tell me you were coming?"

She shrugged and shook her head. "I know about as much as you do."

Obi-Wan sighed. This situation was far from ideal; he worried about Luke, despite what Lars had said, and he didn't trust this Antilles person. And he was hardly letting go of his past when a very important part of it was standing in front of him. But Breha was right, he had a responsibility to Leia as well. Finally, he said, "All right, I'll go."

Vera smiled and he immediately doubted his decision. "Let's go." He looked around the room and realized there was really nothing to take with him—all he really had was his lightsaber and a lot of old volumes on the Order. Slightly embarrassed, he followed her out of the door. A young man he figured must be Captain Antilles saluted him when he approached the ship, and he nodded at him briefly.

"Captain Antilles?"

"Yes, sir. An honor to meet you, General Kenobi," he said.

"I'm no general anymore," he said, and the captain let himself relax somewhat, though he still looked very nervous. Obi-Wan looked at Vera, still unsure if she knew about Luke, and was hesitant to speak to Antilles in front of her. She entered the ship then, obviously understanding this, and he said, "Luke Skywalker must be protected, but his family mustn't know you are watching over him. They aren't exactly open to my help."

"I understand, sir. The queen has told me what I need to know."

"Well, then, thank you," Obi-Wan said. He was instantly suspicious when he said 'the queen'; he was Bail's officer, surely he'd received instructions from him? This entire situation was making him uneasy. "I hope I'll see you soon, then."

"Safe travels, sir," he said, and Obi-Wan ascended the ramp into the ship, leaving the captain to his mission. He found Vera in the cockpit, sitting in the pilot's chair, and was surprised.

"You fly this yourself?" he asked.

"Not usually, but I can," she replied. "Antilles flew us here." Since when could she fly? He was beginning to realize just how long it had been, how much she must have changed. While he had hardly changed at all. As Obi-Wan sat in the copilot chair, she flew up to the edge of the atmosphere. The first dawn was just breaking and Obi-Wan looked down pensively on the vast expanses of the desert planet, cautiously glad to be rid of it for the time being. He thought of Luke, probably still sleeping on the Lars farm, and felt even more uneasy about their departure. Vera entered the coordinates for Alderaan and the ship sped away into hyperspace. "It'll take us about two days," she told him, and he nodded, trying not to show any emotions about the idea of travelling alone with her for so long. "I can have some food brought if you'd like, there's a protocol droid here somewhere."

She looked hopeful and Obi-Wan sensed that her circumstances had changed since they'd last spoken. Perhaps she was lonely. But he knew if he said yes he'd be thrown off too much to think clearly. He needed to retreat, to focus his mind. "No, thank you. I need to meditate."

"The guest quarters are at the end of the hall," she said, her face falling just a little, probably not noticeable to anyone who didn't know her like he did. She laughed and added, "Don't disappear for the whole trip like that time going to Felucia."

"I'll meet you for supper," he told her, unsure of why he said that; it was probably a terrible idea, but now he'd promised.

"Then I'll see you then," she said, her expression ambiguous, even to him. He hesitated for a fraction of a second before leaving the cockpit and finding his quarters. It was a small room, though the bunk was very clean and made him feel even more coated with sand and dust than he'd already felt. He saw a refresher door and eagerly turned on the shower. There was water, a real water shower, and he could have stayed under the water forever; it had been years of unsettling sonic waves forcing the dirt off his skin, out in the deserts where water showers were an indefensible indulgence. Feeling cleaner than he'd felt in years, he settled on the bunk afterwards and let his thoughts drift. He was worried about Leia, of course, but he still worried about Luke, he always having been his more immediate concern. Leia remained in his mind a vague image of a small girl, surrounded by royal luxury, unlikely to encounter any hardship. But he knew that wasn't entirely true; her adoptive parents' positions probably put her at greater proximity to danger than Luke, at least in theory. But despite these concerns, it was the woman in the cockpit that dominated his thoughts. He could sense her presence, a warm and temperamental glow that drew him in, always, and at the same time made him feel unsettled and on edge; he'd forgotten what she had felt like through the Force. He sat on the floor, centering himself, determined to ease his mind before he saw her again. He had to remind himself of when he'd been younger, what he'd learned from their time together. He'd resisted before, he could resist now. At least that's what he wanted to believe.

—

Eriadu, 33 BBY

"I have to say I don't believe I truly need this protection," the governor said. "My council insisted, however, so I welcome you to my service." Obi-Wan looked around at the grandiose, but somewhat overdone, foyer of the mansion they were standing in and narrowed his eyes in suspicion. On the contrary, it seemed the old man thought quite a lot of himself. It looked as though his home had become a challenge to anyone who might think he wasn't the wealthiest man in the capital city. Obi-Wan did not want to be here, and had made that clear, but Qui-Gon had ignored his requests to remain at the Temple. He'd argued he wanted to study for the Trials, but his master had told him he needed his assistance. Obi-Wan doubted that; but he understood, the Council had given them an order. Though why this was one of the orders Qui-Gon had decided to follow he couldn't fathom.

"We're happy to offer our help, Governor Piyerce," Qui-Gon said. "The Republic has decided that the leaders of all the planets on the Hydian way be given personal protection in light of recent events."

"The Republic also decided to arm the damn Federation in the first place," Piyerce chuckled. "The Republic doesn't seem to agree with itself about much." Obi-Wan hated that he agreed with the old man, at least in part. "But I guess I'm glad that slimy Viceroy won't be able to try to undermine my authority. Have you seen what he's done with Lothal?"

"That blockade was troubling," Qui-Gon agreed, nodding slowly. "Though I suppose his assertions about terrorist threats must be believed without evidence to the contrary."

"The man's a tyrant," he said. "Damn Nemoidians." Oh, wonderful. So he was racist as well. Obi-Wan stared at the ceiling, wishing to be anywhere else. "And you know, with this little insurgency annoyance on the north side I'm doubly grateful." They'd been briefed on the rebellion of part of the planet; they were highly skilled and had great numbers behind them, something that made Obi-Wan doubt the governor's dismissal. "Anyway, you are welcome here, Master Qui-Gon. And, er… the boy?"

Obi-Wan's irritation at the assumption of his age surfaced and he frowned; the entire galaxy seemed to think every Padawan was a teenager. He was 23, for gods' sake.

"This is my apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi," Qui-Gon said. The old man extended a long, powdered hand from his long, blue robes and Obi-Wan shook it awkwardly. "I assure you he is highly capable as well."

"Good, good. He could protect my son, then. He's always going out, immersed in his studies at the university," Piyerce told them. Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon hesitantly, who nodded.

"I'd be happy to, sir," Obi-Wan said politely, and Piyerce clapped his hands.

"Good. My steward will take you to him. Now, Master Qui-Gon, I would like to ask some questions about the Republic's dealings with the Federation…"

"If you'll follow me?" A young woman in a crisp black uniform gestured to the door to their right and Obi-Wan followed her down a hall and up an impressive flight of stairs to the third floor, where she indicated the door at the end of the hall. "Master Ben is in his room, just there," she said.

"Thank you," Obi-Wan said quietly, and the steward was gone as quick as she'd come.

He knocked lightly on the door when he reached it and heard a rather young voice say, "Come in." When he entered, he saw a tall, thin man, probably a few years younger than him, sitting at a desk near the opposite wall leaned over a holopad. He stood up when he saw Obi-Wan, and notably turned the pad off immediately. "Hello?"

"Ben Piyerce? I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Jedi Council sent me," he said, and Ben nodded.

"Yeah, I can… see that. Why are you here, though?"

"My master and I were sent to protect your father. He asked me to guard you," he told him, and the man slumped back down into his chair and swore. "I'm sorry…?"

"Blast him," he muttered. "He doesn't want you to protect me, he wants you to spy on me."

"Spy on you?" Obi-Wan asked carefully. This was only just now beginning to get interesting. "Are you sure…"

"Yes, I'm sure," Ben said. "He thinks I'm going to run away or something. Which is insane, I'm 21, you know? He doesn't like that I don't just… bow down and listen to every word that comes out of his mouth."

"If you'd like me to tell them you don't want protection…" Obi-Wan said, and Ben shook his head.

"No, no, you're all right. Whatever. If it gets him to leave me alone…" He sighed. "He's really awful, you know that? I know he's my father, and I'm not supposed to… to dislike him, or something, but… he uses tax money to pay for this stupidly gaudy mansion. And then he sends his national guard out to beat the people who are mad about it. No wonder they want him gone. Tell you the truth, I do too." Obi-Wan was beginning to like him. But Ben suddenly looked wary. "Hold on—if you're with the Temple, you're with the Republic. Does that mean they've declared for him?" He groaned. "That's just great."

"No," Obi-Wan told him, "we have diplomats on both sides, the Republic is still remaining neutral. We're only here to protect him because every leader on this trade route is receiving protection. Because of the Trade Federation's arms operations. They sent us because the Jedi are neutral." Ben snorted and Obi-Wan started to like him a little less. "What?"

"Sorry, I just… you actually believe you're neutral? The Jedi have always been centrists."

"That's not true," Obi-Wan argued. "They've constantly fought fascism throughout the centuries…"

"In the service of a governing body that controls the entire galaxy," Ben replied.

"To protect the citizens," Obi-Wan countered. "The Republic ensures democracy and freedom of peoples while maintaining a respectful distance from traditional governing systems."

"See? You aren't neutral," Ben said.

"Well, of course not completely, no one can be neutral with important things, like slavery—which the Republic forced out of the galaxy years ago, with the help of the Jedi," he added. "And before you say, I know there's still some in the Outer Rim, and Hutt space, but it's being fought against, and that's what's important."

"At what cost?" Ben asked. "Are you comfortable with how easily that government could devolve into fascism? All you need is a conflict, and a demagogue, and all your speeches about democracy won't matter because the system is only built on words. It could fall into tyranny any time someone decides not to care about those words anymore."

"That doesn't mean we shouldn't try," Obi-Wan exclaimed. "Of course there might be a fine line, but letting chaos rule in the name of staying as far away from the line as possible isn't rational. And the Jedi exist to be a check on that possibility, by the way."

"But you're not accountable to anyone," Ben said. "How is that democracy?"

"They aren't subject to the same scrutiny because they've devoted their lives to living in balance," Obi-Wan said. "They don't need it, they police themselves."

"Okay, sure, but… you're saying 'they', not 'we'. You can't convince me you're a total true believer," Ben said. Obi-Wan hadn't even noticed. Ben smiled a little. "And your views on this probably aren't the same as the Jedi high-ups. At least from what I can tell."

"I'm… sorry, I shouldn't be arguing with you about this," Obi-Wan said. He had no idea how to respond to him, so he tried to extricate himself.

"It's okay. I like debating. My dad doesn't let me live on campus so I miss out." Ben rolled his eyes. "I have a club meeting tonight."

"I'll go with you," Obi-Wan said.

"No," Ben said, a little too quickly, and added, "Uh, they don't really like Jedi. Kind of… what I said before, but they're more radical than me most of the time. I'll be fine, I've been going for months without issues."

"…I can stand at a distance. Watch from across the street, maybe," Obi-Wan said.

Ben still looked jumpy but eventually agreed. "Yeah… yeah okay." During Ben's meeting, Obi-Wan sat in a cafe avoiding the pouring rain as he thought about what he'd said. Since when did he think about the Council as 'they'? Did it really mean anything? Had it just been a mistake? The more he thought about what he'd said, the more he convinced himself he really did believe what he'd said… but was Ben right about the Council not seeing it that way? Obi-Wan realized he was probably more in tune with Qui-Gon than with anyone else, and Qui-Gon argued with the Council all the time. Was it truly not right that they didn't answer to anyone? Did he really believe they were beyond reproach? He'd always had mixed feelings about them, but he'd never doubted their intentions. Maybe he'd been wrong.

He looked down to see his comm beeping and pressed it eagerly, anxious to speak with Qui-Gon after the night he'd had. "Master?"

"Obi-Wan, is Ben with you?" he asked. He sounded tense.

"Uh…" Obi-Wan looked at the clock on the wall of the cafe and groaned internally when he saw it was long past when the meeting was supposed to be over. "He told me to wait outside of his…"

"No, then," Qui-Gon sighed. "It's probably too late. Governor Piyerce received a hologram from Ben telling him he'd joined the insurgency."

"What?" Obi-Wan exclaimed. The rest of the cafe was looking at him, but he was already scrambling to his feet and pulling his cloak back on. "I'm going to find him."

"Obi-Wan, come back to the palace. We can discuss what to do next."

"It's my mission, Master, I'm the one who lost him. I can get him back," Obi-Wan said firmly. He needed to find him; this was ridiculous and it was honestly just embarrassing. He couldn't let Qui-Gon fix this for him—it would only prove he wasn't ready to be a Knight. "Trust me. I can handle this." He was already halfway down the street, looking for a public transport to get to the Northern border fifty or so miles away.

The comm was silent for a moment before Qui-Gon said, "All right." Obi-Wan got onto the next shuttle to the border and settled into a seat by himself, leaving his hood up to discourage conversation. He was seriously going to be angry with Ben for this when he found him—on the first day? Really? Realistically he knew he'd probably been planning this for a while but it still annoyed him. Just before the shuttle left, a group of five young-looking humans hopped on and one sat right next to him. Obi-Wan tried not to show his irritation at this and stared out the window silently as the shuttle started moving. After a moment or so, he could feel the girl's eyes on him and sighed. "Yes?"

"Are you a Jedi?" she asked, looking fascinated and staring at his braid. He turned to look at her and was suddenly struck by her; her eyes were boring into his and he felt as though she was seeing right through him. Everything about her, her ivory skin, dark red hair, and especially the deep dark brown eyes looking at him curiously stunned him and he was shocked that he was feeling this way—he hadn't had such a reaction to meeting someone since… "Hello?"

"Yes," he said, and immediately regretted revealing that; why had he told her? He was supposed to be keeping a low profile. But she just smiled.

"Wow. I've never met a Jedi. Well, you're just a Padawan, aren't you?" There was something patronizing in her tone and he sat up a little straighter.

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry. Just, I thought Padawans were younger."

"Who are you?" he asked, trying hard to stay annoyed. If she annoyed him maybe he could forget she was affecting him.

"Vera Tolani," she said cheerfully. "I'm with the Galactic Peace Group." Obi-Wan had to suppress his disappointment. She was a Republic diplomat; he would have to try very hard not to reveal they had a similar goal and he had just undermined it by getting so distracted that the governor's son had escaped his notice for two full hours. "Well, I gave you my name."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi," he said, or rather blurted out, before he could think to possibly use a pseudonym. He had no idea what kind of information she'd been given about the current persons working on Eriadu for the Republic. Thankfully, she didn't seem to know who he was.

"Nice to meet you," she said. "Are you going to talk to the rebel leaders too?"

"Sort of," he said, and turned back to the window, hoping to discourage her. He was starting to think about her eyes too much.

"What _are_ you here for?" she asked.

"It's… confidential," he said eventually, and she shrugged.

"All right. Sorry." She paused and then asked, "So what's it like, being a Jedi?"

He looked at her warily. "Why?"

"Well, we're going to be here a while, might as well get to know each other," she said. "Why won't you talk to me?"

"Um…" he felt trapped. "Sorry. I just… don't have a lot of opportunities to talk to… people my own age."

"Well, here's one," she said pointedly, and he couldn't help looking at her again. Looking directly at her was a bit like looking at a sun; it was blinding him to anything else. His resolve was breaking and he sighed. It didn't matter, he wouldn't see her again.

"All right."


	5. Chapter 5

5: Eriadu, 33 BBY

It only took twenty minutes to reach the border, but Vera managed to get him to say more than he'd probably said in a while to anyone but Qui-Gon. He'd told her quite a lot about the Jedi Temple and his training, but he'd still refrained from revealing anything all that personal. He noticed that she would voice an opinion very quickly, but avoided the question when he asked about her family. He left the transport station when Vera went to talk to the other delegates from her group, and was confident after a few minutes that he was sufficiently lost in the crowd. He had to find the rebellion, which turned out to not be that difficult as there was a protest in the city square when he arrived. He couldn't find Ben, and figured he must be wherever their normal headquarters were; he was impressed that they were able to protest at all from the look of the national guard standing at the edges of the square. He slipped in, his hood up to avoid suspicion, though he knew anyone looking for him could probably still pick him out of the crowd of natives dressed in traditional clothing. He got more than a few curious glances as he stood in the crowd, setting him decidedly on edge.

"We cannot let the oppressive forces in the capital control our rights as citizens of the galaxy!" someone was shouting, and the crowd sounded in agreement. "If Governor Piyerce won't listen to us, we'll make him!" The national guard stepped forward and some of the crowd started panicking. The leader, a young woman standing on the base of a statue in the center of the square, tried to calm them. "Don't worry, they can't do anything to you, you haven't—" But in that moment, the noise escalated and the crowd started to run in all directions as the guard stepped closer again. Obi-Wan never saw, maybe there was a protestor that provoked them or maybe they'd had orders, but before long a shot was fired into the air and the whole square devolved into chaos. Obi-Wan gripped his lightsaber tightly to his side, not wanting to expose himself if he could help it but also wanting to help. In the chaos, he saw the woman stop trying to diffuse the situation and slip behind the statue. By the time he got around to that side, she was already running out of the square, two other people following her. Obi-Wan followed the three of them through the winding side streets of the northern city until he turned a corner and was hit, hard, in the stomach. He doubled over, struggling to regain his breath, as he came to see the woman standing over him holding a blaster to his face. "Who are you?" she demanded.

"I'm… I can't breathe," he managed to gasp, and the woman pulled his hood down roughly.

"He's a Jedi," one of the others, a man older than either him or the woman, breathed. He sounded somewhere between amazed and wary. "Grace…"

"I can see that," the woman, apparently Grace, said, hesitation creeping into her voice too. "Why are you following us, Jedi?"

"My name's Obi-Wan," he said quietly. "I'm looking for someone."

"Who?"

"Ben Piyerce," he said, and their expressions all shifted to one of complete guardedness. "I'm a friend of his."

"You're a Jedi," Grace said hesitantly. "You're a friend of the Republic. So you're a friend of the governor."

Obi-Wan's breathing had returned to normal and he was starting to get irritated again. "The Jedi Council is neutral in this conflict. I'm supposed to protect him, I don't care what he's doing while I do it!" It was somewhat of an exaggeration—he most likely was going to try to convince him to go home—but he needed to get to him.

"How do we know you're not a spy?" one of the men asked.

"I told you, the Jedi are neutral," he said. "Now please. You must know where he is."

"Why does he have protection?" Grace asked.

"We were sent because of the Trade Federation. It's a precaution for all planetary rulers and their families," Obi-Wan said. Grace looked back at the others, and she and the older man retreated from him and the third to begin speaking in rushed whispers. Obi-Wan could hear them if he concentrated on their energy:

"I don't like this," the older man was saying.

"I think he's telling the truth," Grace said.

"How could you possibly know? He could be wanting you to think that. They can do that, you know."

"That's not how it works. Mind tricks are specific," Grace said, shaking her head. "Anyway… it's true the Jedi are supposed to be neutral."

"Supposed to be. Doesn't mean they are. How could they be? The Republic's been against us from the start."

"I don't know. It's a religious group. They're usually true believers in whatever they're doing," Grace said.

The man hesitated. "So what if he is telling the truth? Ben's trying to escape his father. He doesn't need protection from the Federation."

"We're going to have even more Jedi on our doorstep if we stop him from doing his job," Grace said. "We're taking him with us."

"Grace—"

"My decision's final," she said. She returned to where he was standing and said, "Come with us."

"Thank you," he said, and was helped up by the third rebel, a much younger man who hadn't said a word. They wound through several other side streets until they reached a large warehouse that looked abandoned; Grace unlocked the scanner and the door opened with a rattling sound. When they entered, he saw a large open space with what appeared to be a makeshift command center in the middle, a primitive hologram setup surrounded by maps and manifests. There was a sizable amount of people in the space, and Obi-Wan could see doors and curtains separating other rooms, most likely bunks; he scanned the room quickly until he found Ben, sitting against the wall with a few other people about his age. Grace immediately went to the center of the room and started to talk quickly with other leaders about the protest; the older man gruffly escorted Obi-Wan over to Ben, who stood up with wide eyes when he saw him.

"Seriously?" Ben exclaimed.

"It wasn't that hard to find you, to be perfectly honest," Obi-Wan said. "You're all quite loud."

"I don't want you here, I thought I'd made that pretty clear," he said. "I don't need you. I'm not in the governor's family anymore."

"Ben… the Federation won't see it that way," Obi-Wan said. "You're in much more danger here, this isn't something I can work with."

"Hey, I thought you said you were neutral," the man said, clearly a warning.

"I am. I'm recommending that the person I'm protecting not get involved in an armed conflict," Obi-Wan replied coolly. This was not the day he'd thought he was going to be having.

"Listen, Jedi. We aren't giving him up, this is the best symbolism we've ever had. The governor's own son knows he's corrupt. Do you really want to throw that away? Because I'm not going to let you."

"I'm sure he didn't mean it like that," a woman's voice said, one Obi-Wan recognized. He whirled around, shocked, as the woman from the transport approached them, wearing Eriaduan clothing and looking much less poised than before.

"What do you know? You've been here for two minutes," the man growled. "Whatever. Don't let him leave," he ordered two men sitting along the wall, before walking away from them and back to the command center.

"You okay, Jedi?" she asked, meeting his eyes pointedly. He quickly grasped this was not the time to reveal her identity.

"Fine," he said. "Thanks." She walked away then, but Obi-Wan couldn't help himself. "Stay here," he told Ben, and followed her under a curtain into a small bunk room. "Vera?"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi," she said, smirking. "Thanks for disappearing on me."

"I had to," he said, though he did feel bad about it, surprisingly. "Why are you here? Are you spying for the Group?"

"No," she said, a little too quickly, and looking down in embarrassment, said, "I… I went to the protest, to see… we're supposed to be meeting with the leaders, but I found out we're meeting with the _guard_. The guard that's shooting people in the streets! And I… well, personally, I do think a regime change is in the Republic's best interests."

"What… how?" Obi-Wan asked incredulously. "I mean, I understand the governor is terrible. But to destabilize the planet… its trade significance is enough to destabilize the whole Hydian way."

"Alternative markets will make up the difference," Vera scoffed. "No one cares about the Hydian way anymore."

"Alternative markets? You mean smuggling?" Obi-Wan asked. "Well, I've never heard anyone call it that before. Talk about lending legitimacy where it's not due."

"I'm Corellian," she said, and her smirk turned into an unabashed grin.

"That explains… well, pretty much everything," Obi-Wan said. He looked away, practically everything about her distracting him much more than he was comfortable with. "But… you just come here and join a rebellion out of nowhere?"

"I don't know yet," she said. "I mean, my group knows where I am… but I might give them the slip ultimately."

"Don't you… if you're with the Galactice Peace Group, you have to have confidence in the Republic," Obi-Wan said. "So why…"

"I have confidence in the Republic… as an institution, but not the way it's operating right now," Vera said. "And honestly, they're not doing much to convince me otherwise. They seem like they care much more about empowering massive corporate powers to enrich themselves than about the citizens of each planet." Obi-Wan had no idea how to respond to that. "But don't worry about me. Just… that guy's right, okay? Don't take Ben away from them unless you have to. Can't you tell your Council that they aren't supposed to get involved?"

"I… I don't think they're trying to," Obi-Wan said hesitantly.

"If they're trying to get you to bring Ben back, I feel like they probably have some kind of agenda," Vera said. "Do you really want to be part of that?"

"I believe in the Council," Obi-Wan said, though his conversation with Ben was coming back to haunt the back of his mind.

Vera shook her head. "Yeah… can I ask why? Because it seems like they sort of forced it on you. From everything you told me… you were so young. And they're controlling everything about you. You can't see your family, you can't have relationships…" She smiled a little again and said, "You know, I gotta admit I was a little disappointed when I heard that." Obi-Wan blushed—so she felt that too? Oh, gods, this was not what he needed right now. "Hey, relax," she said, but her smile was getting wider. He blushed even more.

"I have to go make sure Ben's still…" he managed, and she nodded.

"Okay. Find me later? I don't know anyone else in this place," she said, and he hesitated. That was probably a very bad idea. After what happened on Mandalore… but he was younger then, surely he could control himself?

"Maybe," he said, and ducked out of the bunk room hurriedly. Keeping Ben in his sight, he retreated to a dark corner and called Qui-Gon on his comm unit. His master responded almost immediately.

"Obi-Wan? Did you find him?"

"Yes, Master," he said. He hesitated before adding, "I'm going to stay here with him."

"What? I've spoken to the Council and they said you should bring Ben back to the mansion at once."

"With respect, Master," Obi-Wan said, his voice shaking slightly, "we aren't supposed to take sides. I can protect him without interfering in Eriadu's conflict."

The comm unit was silent for several agonizing moments before Qui-Gon replied, "I'm trusting you with this, Obi-Wan." Did he sound… proud?

Obi-Wan smiled. "I won't let you down, Master." He shut off the comm before Qui-Gon changed his mind and thought of going back to Ben, but stopped. He felt himself being pulled back towards Vera, and he knew his feelings were growing. He knew he shouldn't… but his doubts about the Council had been reinforced by his conversation with Qui-Gon. Did they really just care about his safety, or were they truly taking sides? If they were, why should he listen to them? To anyone, really, but himself? He still felt sick when he thought about breaking the Code. But he decided, despite a part of his mind warning him against it, that being friendly couldn't hurt. Bracing himself against his own doubts, he started back to find Vera.

—

Hyperspace, 9 BBY, month 5, day 12

"So what have you been doing?" he asked her, once the protocol droid had left and it was just the two of them. His food sat in front of him untouched; he was far more focused on the woman in front of him.

"Oh, selling my soul to the Empire," she said, with a bitter smile. "For the sake of my people. It's a dull life, in the Imperial Senate. Much less exciting than the Clone Wars."

"They let you remain a Senator?" Obi-Wan asked, surprised. "After your opposition to Palpatine?"

"Bail's still a Senator," Vera reminded him. "They've generally favored stability over loyalty. They think they can force loyalty through fear."

"And can they?" he asked.

"I'm here with you, aren't I?" she laughed. "So in my case, no, but plenty have given in. No, I've been a regular benefactor to rebel cells when I can manage it. It's growing difficult, their surveillance is really far-reaching."

"I can imagine," Obi-Wan said. "That's why I'm in the Outer Rim."

"Well, that and your responsibilities," she said. "You're still so mysterious."

"You used to like my mysteriousness," he ventured, regretting it immediately. What the hell was he doing?

She smiled. "Not really. It got annoying."

"Wow," he said, and she laughed, but he knew she had sort of meant it. "But yes, I didn't exactly choose Tatooine, you're right."

"What are you doing there, Obi-Wan?" she asked. "Really."

"I can't tell you, Vera," he sighed.

"You used to tell me everything," she said quietly. "What's changed?"

"Everything's changed," he said. "This isn't just about me, it's… it could be the only hope we have."

"So tell me," Vera urged, but he looked down at the table.

"You'll likely find out when we reach Alderaan," he said, with a finality that, thankfully, she didn't argue.

"Still… you're no use to anyone out there," she said. "Bail told me you used to—in the first years, I mean, you were an extraordinary help to them, with your—"

"I don't do that anymore," he said sharply. Painful, violent memories of the first two years of his exile flashed before his eyes and his hand balled into a fist to try to contain himself.

"You wouldn't? If he asked you?"

"I don't know," he said carefully, concerned now. Why was she bringing this up? He had to get her to talk about something else. The other thing he'd been curious about crept back into his mind and he asked, as casually as he could, "How's Korr?"

Vera looked at him, her expression even but Obi-Wan could see the surprise in her eyes she was obviously trying to hide. "… I don't know exactly. I haven't seen him in years."

"You mean… you aren't still together?" he asked, struggling to maintain his casual facade. Why was he happy about this? He shouldn't care, it'd been years and years.

"No," she said softly. "It ended a while ago. It was civil, and Jon's happy. He doesn't see his father much, though."

Obi-Wan nodded slowly and said, "That's… too bad. I'm sorry."

Vera laughed. "You're such a liar," she told him, and he stiffened.

"No, I'm not—why would you say that?" he asked, trying to smile, but she just kept laughing.

"Obi-Wan, you're not going to tell me you were ever happy for us," she said.

"I… Vera, that wouldn't be fair of me to expect you to… I told you, I'd made my choice, but it didn't mean I never wanted you to…" The tension in the room had risen, they both felt it. He could sense her anxiety rising, along with his own. "…to move on," he finished, and their eyes met in unspoken understanding.

"Still. It didn't mean you were happy about it," she said. As if she was asking.

He looked at her, and wished he hadn't; every time he did his resolve, his decision, felt weaker than before. "I tried to be."

She looked at him, almost alarmed, and asked, "But you couldn't? Ever?" He knew she meant more than she was asking.

He may have thought so, in the last few years, but seeing her again had changed that. He shook his head. "No," he admitted. "I never really could."


	6. Chapter 6

6: Eriadu, 33 BBY

"Do we really have to sit here all night long?" Ben sighed, slumping down into the chair the minute they reached the safehouse.

"Grace said we can't risk going back to headquarters until daylight," Vera said. "They'll be looking for us all night." Obi-Wan pulled down his hood and looked around, still breathing heavily from their run through the city streets. The apartment looked secure, and he didn't sense anything off, so he began to relax.

"I'll take first shift," he offered, and Vera, Ben and the two other rebels retreated into the other room, leaving Obi-Wan alone in the front of the apartment. He sat down and took out his comm unit, trying to call his master. Qui-Gon wasn't picking up, so he closed his eyes and slipped into meditation, the familiar hum of the Force drawing him in. It felt comforting, feeling the connections between him and the rest of the city, peaceful energies surrounding him for the most part— much of the population was sleeping. He felt Ben relaxing, and Vera too; Vera, who was quickly becoming his best friend, a confidant, and he wasn't sure how to feel about her. It had been more than a month now, but he still was confused and anxious when he really thought about her. He felt too strongly about her, that was certain.

He had no idea how long it had been when he opened his eyes and saw his comm unit blinking. He picked it up quickly and answered. "Master?"

"Obi-Wan. Is Ben safe?"

"He's fine," he said, a little irritated; _I'm fine too, thanks for asking_. "And the governor?"

"Asleep. The Council thinks we should be able to come back soon, the Federation has nearly worked out a deal."

"That's…" Obi-Wan hesitated. "Good."

"You seem anxious," Qui-Gon said. "I've been feeling it for a while. What's troubling you?"

"Nothing, Master, I'm fine," Obi-Wan said. "I just… I do understand these people. I feel a little guilty about leaving them."

"You're a Jedi. This isn't your fight," he said.

"I know, Master," Obi-Wan replied, resisting the urge to sigh.

"There's something else, though, isn't there?" Qui-Gon asked. He paused before asking, "Or someone?"

"No," Obi-Wan said quickly. "No, nothing."

"…All right. Call tomorrow, when you can."

"Of course. Good night," he said, and shut off the comm, relieved it was over. He knew he wasn't truly lying, but it felt like it.

"Your master?" He turned and saw Vera standing in the hall, the door to the other room shut behind her. He stood, unsure of why after he did it.

"…Yeah. Have you talked to your group?" The Galactic Peace Group had left the system, though Vera had been given permission to stay with the rebels as a semi-permanent envoy. She was enjoying it a bit more than he suspected she had told them.

"Not today." She came and sat on the couch, drawing him back down with her as she went. "You seem upset."

"I'm not upset," he said.

She frowned. "Well… nervous, at least. Do I make you nervous, Kenobi?"

He laughed but said, "A little."

"Obi-Wan… am I wasting my time? Because I… can't stop thinking about you," she said. "All the time."

He looked at her, and felt panic seize his heart. "I—I don't know."

"You don't know?" she asked, shaking her head. "Do you have feelings for me?"

"It's not that simple," he said, staring down at his hands. He couldn't look directly at her. "I can't be with anyone, you know that."

"You mean they don't want you to," she said. "Well they're not here. I don't know why you're making yourself miserable following some code that no one asked your permission before they bound you to."

She was making more sense than he wanted to admit. She took his hand and he jerked away, reflexively, and immediately regretted it when he saw the look on her face. "I'm sorry."

"Why do you care so much what they think? What were they just talking about with you, you were upset about it, I can tell."

"…They want me to leave. They don't care that I'm starting to believe in this," Obi-Wan told her, unsure of where she was going with this.

"See? They don't give a damn about you, Obi-Wan," she said, reaching for him again. This time he let her hold his hand, though his whole body was stiff and he was fighting an urge to flee. "But I do. You're not a person to them, Obi-Wan, but you are to me." He felt himself shaking, and she seemed to notice too. "You're scared."

"I'm terrified," he admitted.

"Why?"

"Because I might love you," he said. "And now I have no idea what to do.""Don't let them decide for you," she said. "We could be happy."

"How?" he breathed, with his last ounce of willpower. She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him, and it was like there was nothing and no one else in the world, until the panic started to seep into his brain and he moved away, avoiding her gaze.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I can't." He looked back up at her, and she looked like she might cry. He hated himself for that.

"You can," she said. "You just won't." She stood up and walked to the other side of the room, staring at the wall. "Get some sleep, I'll take the next shift." He stood up, at a loss of what to do. She looked very hurt, he had to say something…

"Vera."

"Don't," she said, still avoiding his gaze, and after a moment of heavy silence he forced himself to leave the room.

—

Hyperspace, 9 BBY, month 5, day 13

"Obi-Wan. Your thoughts are clouded again." He sighed in relief when he finally managed to make contact with his master again. But he could sense Qui-Gon's disapproval.

"I've tried to keep my feelings at a distance," Obi-Wan said.

"Still you don't understand," Qui-Gon said. "That isn't the point. You must acknowledge your feelings. But you mustn't let them control you."

"What does that mean, Master?" Obi-Wan asked, getting frustrated.

"Pretending you don't care for Vera helps no one and nothing. If you deny it, you let it control you."

"That doesn't make sense," Obi-Wan sighed.

"You'll learn in time. But in any case, you must calm yourself enough to be able to see what is coming." Obi-Wan nodded and closed his eyes, settling into his position on the floor of the cabin.

"We're nearing Alderaan," he said. "I can feel it." And he could, the serene energy of the planet growing steadily stronger every moment. But something else, a hectic energy, also entered his consciousness, and he frowned. "There's something else."

"Yes. Can you see what?"

"No." Obi-Wan shook his head. "I don't like this."

"Why did you come?"

Obi-Wan was starting to ask that question himself. "I'm not sure. For Leia, I suppose."

"It could be a trap. It could be nothing, just a distraction from your mission."

"A distraction from wasting away in the desert while Luke grows older, untrained and uninterested?" Obi-Wan snapped. His connection with his master wavered and he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right. You're angry. Don't pretend not to be, accept it and move on. The path to immortality is not one of denial."

"What you said before," Obi-Wan said, trying to move forward, "about why. I know why. It's her. I thought I'd moved on, but I don't think I ever really did."

"I know." Obi-Wan cast his eyes to the ground, as if he was avoiding his master's gaze, feeling like hiding. "Don't be ashamed. It's natural. I was in love, once."

"I remember, but… you were always so detached, so effortlessly devoted to the Code," Obi-Wan said, thinking back to the days after the Jedi Qui-Gon had loved's death, when his master was as stoic and wise as ever. It had amazed Obi-Wan then, this easy acceptance.

"I had made my decision long ago, long before I knew you. It was easier, from a distance. It wasn't easy, of course. But I controlled my emotions." He hesitated and added, "And I've regretted it ever since."

Obi-Wan was shocked. "Master? You never told me."

"I don't want this to consume you, Obi-Wan, maybe it would be better to allow it to happen."

"I'm a Jedi Master," Obi-Wan said firmly, trying to ignore the doubts growing stronger with Qui-Gon's every word. "I shouldn't be thinking these things at all. I should know how to control myself." He took a deep breath and added, "I do know how to control myself. I will. It's for the best."

"Are you certain you're following the true path, or one the Council set for us?" Qui-Gon said. "I don't presume to know everything about the Force. Neither should you."

Obi-Wan was shocked. "Master… the only one I've ever known to defy the Code this way destroyed everything."

"Was it Anakin's love for her that drove him to this, or the Council's refusal to accept it?"

Obi-Wan was at a loss. "I… don't know."

"Then follow what your heart tells you. What you believe is right."

"I've never followed my heart, Master, you made sure of that," Obi-Wan muttered.

Qui-Gon's voice didn't reply for a while. "I did what I had to do at the time. For what I believed was your own good."

"And that is why I've come to Alderaan," Obi-Wan replied quickly. "For Leia's sake. Not because of Vera. I would have come if it had been anyone else." Perhaps he could convince himself as well. He heard the ship's hyperspace engines slowing and said, "I must go, Master."

"Do what you feel is right, Obi-Wan. Don't follow the dead's rules if you do not have reason to believe them yourself." Obi-Wan had to admit he was very confused by this change in Qui-Gon. "I… I won't, Master."

"Look after the girl. And don't let fear cloud your judgement." Qui-Gon left him then and his eyes opened slowly. He could feel the ship coming out of hyperspace, and soon after heard footsteps approaching, metallic ones.

"Sir, the Senator has requested your presence in the cockpit. We have entered the planet's orbit," the droid informed him, and he stood and nodded at it.

"Thank you," he said, and walked down the hall, trying to organize his thoughts. What did Qui-Gon mean? Did he want him to act on his feelings? Doubts were swirling in his mind, but he put a stop to the clouded thoughts as the door opened. Vera was sitting comfortably in the pilot's chair, wearing formal dress and peering at the nav computer. In the window, the swirling blue and white landscape of Alderaan grew larger and larger before them. "Are we landing?"

She smiled back at him. "Yes, soon." A jumbled voice came through a comm unit in the dashboard and Vera turned to it. "Vera Tolani, requesting permission to land on the royal hangar." A pause. "Yes, with one guest. Thank you." As they entered the atmosphere above the capital city, the royal palace came bursting into view, with grand slopes of sleek white stone climbing high into the sky. They landed on an equally sleek and pristine platform in front of the palace and a trio of guards approached them. "Don't worry," she told him, "they're loyal to the family, not the Empire."

Still a little uneasy, Obi-Wan followed her off the ship. She walked with confidence, like she knew she belonged there—it was something he'd always admired about her. He hung behind, more unsure, ready to defend himself if necessary. "Senator Tolani. The Queen is expecting you… and your guest," the guard said, eyeing Obi-Wan suspiciously. "Name, sir?"

"…Ben Lars," he said quickly. He knew 'Kenobi' was much too risky here. The guard nodded curtly and turned, motioning for them to follow him.

Alderaan, 9 BBY, month 5, day 13

The Alderaanian palace was just as grand on the inside, the entrance hall striking him with its elegant beauty. He couldn't be sure if it was just the years of Tatooine's dust or if it was truly something to behold. But when they entered the throne room next, he was convinced he would have been just as amazed even during his years travelling the galaxy. The ceiling stretched high above them, with the symbols of the house of Organa carved into the walls above them. And in front of them, sitting in a high-backed white and elegant throne, was Breha Organa. He'd met her a few times before, but it had been Bail he'd really known; the queen seemed strong and aloof, but at the same time he could sense in her great kindness and love. She looked at both of them and stood.

"Leave us," she told the guards, who did, quickly and without question. Once the doors were closed she approached them and warmly embraced Vera. "My friend, thank you," she said quietly. She then turned to Obi-Wan and bowed slightly. "Master Kenobi. It's good to see you again."

"And you, Your Highness. Though I am curious as to why I am here," he said, bowing as well. "Will the Senator be joining us?"

Breha's face changed. "Bail is away, at the Senate. He won't be aware you are here at all. This will stay between us, do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand," he said, though he grew more wary by the minute. The queen walked down to where they stood and motioned for them to follow her down the hall, past the throne room and through the Alderaanian palace.

"We have received a summons from the Imperial command," she told them as they walked. "They're calling all future heirs to the planetary systems' royal families to the capital soon for a conference of sorts. It will last months, I believe it is a sort of academy. To ensure loyalty, no doubt." Breha looked almost panicked. "It's compulsory. If we don't send Leia they will know something is amiss."

"Yes, I believe you should," Obi-Wan said. "There shouldn't be a problem, her identity has been well concealed."

"We believe she has inherited her father's gifts," the queen whispered. "She can't control it… but it is clear, at times, she's not a normal child. I'm afraid the Emperor will sense something."

That was what he was afraid of. He exchanged a concerned glance with Vera and asked, "…What would you have me do, Breha?"

"Train her," she said. "Not fully, not even conventionally. Just teach her enough to control and conceal her abilities. Is it possible?"

Obi-Wan felt rather overwhelmed, and had no idea what to tell the queen. "I… maybe. How long?"

"She must leave in three standard months. Take her with you, on your mission; she'll have security, she'll be all right. She's been on missions with Bail before."

"Mission?" he asked, looking back at Vera again in suspicion. He'd known something else was going on.

"I'll explain later," Vera said quickly, and he frowned but after a moment nodded.

"It will probably be good for her. She's been anxious to leave lately," Breha said, with a strained smile. "The girl wants to see the galaxy. Her world isn't enough for her."

He felt a wave of emotion he wasn't expecting overcome him. He had never met the girl but from that sentence imagined her to be very much like the Anakin he had known. "May I see her?"

"Of course. She's just in here." Breha entered the room they had come to and called inside. "Leia, dear? We have a guest who would like an audience." Before she let Obi-Wan in, she stopped him and whispered, "Tell her what you must about the Force, but nothing about her father. She must never know."

"I understand," he said, and the queen and Vera both stepped away. He entered the room and found two girls, one a handmaiden in a plain dress and another he knew must be the princess. He could sense her power, flowing through her in the wild, unstable way the younglings had always felt, but much more than usual—she was powerful, he could tell immediately, the same feeling he always got from Luke but wilder, more like Anakin's fiery temperament. The juxtaposition of this and her appearance was disconcerting. She wore a long, white gown and had a great deal of hair pulled back into a single, tight braid that trailed down her back. She was leaning over something on the table, a book from the looks of it, and looked up when he entered. Obi-Wan bowed, trying not to smile prematurely.

The girl smiled, though it was empty, merely polite. "Hello. I don't believe we've met. Er, Evaan, wait for me upstairs." The handmaiden disappeared and Obi-Wan stepped forward.

"No, we haven't. My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi, Your Highness."

The girl frowned and the ghost of his best friend was uncanny. "I've heard your name. From Father, I think."

"I served with your father during the Clone Wars."

Leia's eyes grew wide. "You're the Jedi Master," she breathed.

"Yes," he said. "I'm here to help you control your abilities."

Her expression sobered and she asked, "You mean… those things I can do, that's… what I think it is?"

"Yes, I believe so. Your mother wants you to travel with me for a while." She looked excited by this but was clearly maintaining decorum, with difficulty.

"Oh. Well, I accept." He almost laughed. "You will be welcome here until we can leave tomorrow, Master Kenobi. There is a dinner tonight I have to attend first." She sat back down on the sofa behind her and Obi-Wan sensed the meeting was over.

"Thank you. It was a pleasure to meet you, Your Highness," he said, trying to hide his amusement. Leia nodded at him, betraying a wider smile this time, and he left the room nearly grinning himself. Somehow, the girl was every bit the princess of Alderaan and still undoubtedly the daughter of the slave boy he'd found all those years ago. He frowned as he followed Breha and Vera down the hall to the guest quarters, thinking about this mysterious mission. And about his coming task with Leia—clearly, a challenge to train. He'd never truly gotten his apprentice's power under control, and he'd had years. How was he supposed to tame Leia's, in three months or less, well enough to be unnoticed by the Emperor himself? He knew, though, that he had to try—if not for Breha, then for the Anakin he'd known. To save his friend's daughter from the monster he'd become.


End file.
